Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
