1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
