i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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