i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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