idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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