so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
