So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
