i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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