It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
