He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
