I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
