he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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