Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
