Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
