that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
