I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
