when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My cat gives me a boner
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
