OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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