Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize