whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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