Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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