dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
