i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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