a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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