This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
