New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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