My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
