yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think i peed on brittanys purse
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You smell like stripper and shame
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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