I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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