So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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