Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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