I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
