why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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