I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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