I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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