worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
