Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
