Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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