what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When are your genitals available?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
