New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo