If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.