What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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