I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.