just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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