nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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