I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
