Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
