You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
