so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My vagina is officially offended.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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