He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
