What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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