this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
