I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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