She's JV to your varsity
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
