handjob tips. give me some.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
