It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
