OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
