in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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