Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
