Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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