Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Success! We fucked roommates!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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