when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
