Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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