i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
