He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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