Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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