Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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